Tuesday, June 7, 2011

D.range Or How I learnt to stop worrying about Love or the Bomb.

Being a quantum mechanic, I find myself possessing a quarky sense of humour.

You square the product of pi and a radius to determine a circle.
There is a lot of rounding off around these corners.

What happened to the physicist's mind prior to diving deep?
It walked the planck.

What's the slang for 'shrink'?
Bitch doktor

Why did the schizophrenic cross the road?
To meet his friend.
Why did the schizophrenic cross the road?
His friend wasn't there.

What did the schizophrenic tell the psychiatrist?
"We need help."
What was the psychiatrist's reply?
"Yes we do."

What's a bad idea?
A philosopher stoned.

What's the spell used by the linguistic mystic to raise the dead?

What do dead Tibetans do?
Write a book.
What do alive Tibetans do?
Read the book.

Why do smokers always flock around Buddha?
He has the light, man.

Why did Buddha cross the road?
He lost his mind.
Why did Ananda cross the road?
To bring Buddha back.
Why did Ananda fail to do so?
He saw the light. Two of them infact.

Why do Hindu's believe in re-incarnation?
Well, to begin with, they aren't grounded.

What's common between Romans and academics?
They both like to cross examine ideas.

What's the proof of heaven?
Burkhas on Earth.

Why should you make fun of religion?
For history has taught us that if you take it too seriously it makes you cross.

Who in their right minds is a communist?

Who shot the Sheriff?
The Deputy.
Who shot the Deputy?
Eric Clapton.
Who is a well-tuned twisted genius?

Why did Lao Tzu sit on a bull?
If Bull sit on him, make no sense.

What's a far fetched idea?
What's a heavy assumption?

"An Unidentified Flying Object was reportedly seen hovering near a waffle restaurant in southern Texas that is frequented by astronauts, aeronautical engineers and other arial craft experts" reports David Wilcock.

What do you do after you get an arts degree?
Hop over to the other side of the money laundering business.

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